Scattered Tears
by LadyMiriamele
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen to Hiei when Kurama's human form dies and he reverts to youko form? Yaoi, angst, some harsh language


Title: Scattered Tears

Author: Lady Miriamele

Warnings: Yaoi, Angst, Kind of dark, Some harsh language

Reviews Welcomed :)

^Standard Disclaimers Apply^

Hiei is in the Ningenkai walking slowly down the street. He makes a turn at the corner and enters a graveyard. Impassively, he walks passed the graves until he stops at one. It reads: Shuichi Minamino. Hiei places a rose right in front of the tombstone.

~^*^~

I brought a rose for you, Kurama. It was the best one I could find and yet, it still doesn't match the ones you left on your pillow before school for me. I want you to know, if you can hear me now, that I love you. I'll always love you. Never will I let you go. 

Kurama…Or should I call you Shuichi? Sometimes I think I should call you the latter and distinguish the two of you. After all, wasn't it Shuichi that died? Or did he die too? I'm so confused. I don't even know why I ponder such things any more. Its been a year and yet, your death is still haunting me…

Why did you have to go and die? Why? I need to know! I told you to stop worrying about your ningen mother. You should have come and stayed with me in Makai. I could have taken care of you! But no! You insisted that you stay. And I let you! And where did you end up? In the cold, hard ground. I guess that means I played a part in your death then, huh? Ironic…Everything is so ironic.

Why didn't you listen to me Kurama? You would have never caught that stupid ningen virus. Do you know what it was like when Yusuke told me you were dead? You didn't even let me say goodbye! I couldn't tell you one last time how much I loved you and that I knew you loved me. I couldn't even see your bright emerald pools one last time. I couldn't even hear you say those words that had gotten me into all of this. I couldn't even hear you say you love me.

No! I won't cry! This is all your fault, Kurama! You brought my fucking walls down. You changed me! I opened up to you. I forgot fear and let our love flow. And just like that, you die. You left me here open and exposed, for you took all your love with you. You left me alone. Worst of all, you left me with _him_.

God damn it, Kurama! I hate you for that. You let me experience the beauty of relationships. You taught me that love shouldn't be feared, that great things can come from it. And then you left me to be someone's pet. I knew I shouldn't have let you love me, should have never given into my own emotions. I should have known that it would be taken just like that. 

I wonder if that stupid ningen expression is true: Better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. Is that true? Or would I have been better off without your love? 

I have to go soon. He'll be waiting. I know I don't have to return to him. He can find another pet to satisfy him. He has them lined up, all equally eager for him. But I always go back. I do it for you Kurama. And I guess…part of me does it for myself as well…He is all I have left. In a way, I guess he is keeping me alive. Or maybe he is killing me. I don't know. The two seem so alike these days.

I can feel him growing impatient. I better go. I wonder if he will tire of me soon. Then I'll have nothing left. And then I can finally join you. Gods, Kurama, I love you so much. I just wish you wouldn't have been so fucking selfish. I just wish…

But wishes are useless. I know that. And I have to return to my job. Goodbye, Kurama. At least, until I am free…

~^*^~

A single teargem falls on the grave and Hiei walks away, heading to Makai. Once there, he meets up with a tall, silver youko, who waits with eager golden eyes. Hiei goes to him and lets himself be kissed roughly. 

"Where were you? I almost had to please myself," the fox purred.

"I was visiting an old friend."

The youko laughed. "I didn't know you had any friends, pet. No matter. Now come, I can barely wait any longer."

"Sure, K'rama," Hiei whispers, letting the youko shove him to the ground and tear off his shirt.

When all is done, Youko Kurama leaves with a single phrase, the same one he says every time he is pleased. "Be seeing you, pet."

Unnoticed by the fox, Hiei lets another teargem fall.

END


End file.
